One of the amazing parts of counselling psychotherapy is when a person is seeking where they belong. We feel lost, afraid, alone, stressed out, and even desperate. But only one sleep can change all that. We honestly never know what is around the corner. Life is actually a massive adventure, and we have no idea where we might end up.
For some of us, not knowing is stressful. Do you think the bee knows exactly where her next bunch of flowers might be found? Surely I can imagine, a bee flying around not sure where the flowers might be growing and blooming. Even whatever sensors they have probably leave them with not knowing, maybe a sense of intuitive instinct. Why should human beings be all that different?
When I was a young man, several really close friendships fell apart leaving me pretty much all alone in the world for the first time in my life. The crisis lasted for a few years because there was no clue inside me of how to cope. Towards the end of this searching someone flatly told me to “go see Redge Craig.” He was a senior counsellor in our region of Canada.
After sitting down with Redge, and sharing the ending of those friendships that still made me feel lower than low, he leaned forward and said something that I cannot easily forget. He said, “How deeply you really cared for each of your friends, and that love you have for them is just as strong now, inside of you.” For some reason, his saying this was like light bulbs going off inside my body. For the first time, it dawned on me that instead of feeling defeated by loss, I could actually feel good about my capacity to care for others. This was a huge turn around that led me toward a new path in life.
Counselling can be like this for many people. It never ceases to mystify me how people come to therapy on the cusp of healing, change, and new pathwork.