Because our work in behaviour support and counselling therapies is family-focused, and because we work with parents and their child with a disability, we find that mothers come forward quite often and attend therapy with their child. For the mom, this is an opportunity to learn about therapy and to work with the therapist.
Many mothers say they have never had this experience in past. The mom often shares that she feels immediately affirmed by this method that highlights individual strengths, and builds on existing life-skills. We believe that parents know their child the best, and have a lot of expertise to share in the therapeutic process.
Mothers also have moments when the reality of life breaks through – like when a flower opens to the sun, there is an awakening of awareness. Some mom’s might break down and weep, for others the light bulbs turn on and connections open up new insights. Mothers find new ways to support their child, and to affirm their inner being.
We find that many women, and mothers in particular, even in today’s world, are still subject to a great deal of social attitudes. How to be a parent, how to be a woman, how to be a mother of a child with a disability – all these experiences are very intense for many women. Many have felt their child was in past subject to so many assessments, examinations, diagnosis, treatment options, that they have spent half their lives in doctor’s offices and clinics.
Mothers also need moral support and encouragement from a genuine acknowledgement of strengths and capacities. There are essential domains of knowledge and wisdom that arise in being a mother that are unique and that ought to be celebrated in every society. More enlightened societies share these perspectives. Why the western world has forgotten this obvious wisdom is another story for another time.
Suffice it to say that counselling therapies and positive person centred behaviour support rely on parents, and on mothers in particular, to take a leadership role in the family and in society. We would hope that the rest of the family and society would stand with the mother and help her in her vital role.
It need not be stated, as the truth of the matter is so obvious, but society cannot exist without mothers. Therefore, you would think that therapy methods would be more family-focused and affirming of the role of mothers than seems the case in today’s world.